The dream was the most lucid and memorable dream I have ever had in my entire life. I had never been on acid or LSD but I swear that this must have been what that was like. I appeared in a large room that appeared to be like a library but was colder than it had any right to be. The floor was stone and I could hear whispering voices all around me. The whispering was unintelligible but was very soft and creepy. The temperature was clearly below zero and I felt underdressed as I was still wearing my t-shirt and boxer shorts. The book shelves were so tall I couldn’t even seen the top. I pulled a book off the shelf because I was curious and it was Franz Kafka’s Metamorphosis. I put it back and the hairs on the back of my neck prickled. I turned around and saw a figure staring at me. If you had asked me what about this figure scared me or made me uneasy I am not sure I would have been able to tell you. The one feature I was sure of was the mask on covering the face. What a mask it was, it looked similar to those totems you see that are meant to ward away spirits and guide them to the afterlife. It was similar to that but didn’t seem to have a clear origin. How did I know this? Well I am an anime and manga fan and I loved horror. But for some reason this figure scared me more than anything I had ever read, seen,watched or listened to regarding horror. The visceral fear I felt was just automatic. I turned around and heard shuffling footsteps. I began to walk rapidly away from the sound and found that there were vast corridors of books. It was like a maze of bookshelves. Had I not been so terrified I would have marveled at the sheer size of the place and the vast numbers of seemingly endless corridors. I eventually was running as I heard the figure running too. Eventually the running behind me stopped and I finally was able to once again take notice of my surroundings. I was conveniently in front of a large mahogany desk, the kind that wraps around and is the central hub of a large library. It had computer whirring and two librarians sitting at it. One of them wasn’t looking at me and clearly didn’t much care. The other however looked up at me. I felt a cold vice on my heart and it wasn’t from fear. I know that sounds ridiculous but for some reason I had the feeling of wariness but not fear. This person knew more than me and they would always know more than me. They held my fate in their hands. This feeling of being in the presence of pure power was overwhelming. The head librarian was diminutive but his eyes sparkled like two black orbs in his sockets. His skin was leathery and his smile was toothy and he was so visibly excited and full of energy it was almost comical. For some reason I immediately noticed that his hands had a ring on each finger. Each ring was remarkable and had symbols all over them. The man spoke to me with a deep voice that was rich and alien. “Welcome to my library, young man, do you seek wisdom or power” I was thrown aback. Now I should say that I knew it was a dream while in it. It was very realistic and vivid but I still knew. So a part of me was hesitant to say anything. But he nodded knowingly and gestured his left hand and pointed with the ring finger. The ring on that finger was one of a serpent entwined over the body of a naked woman. “That is where you will find what you seek” he boomed. His voice had gotten even deeper and seemed to echo. The direction he pointed was straight into a wall of bookshelves and I was about to point that out when there was a creaking noise. The bookshelf began to slide aside like in an old spy movie or Hammer horror. “May ye find what ye need but not what ye seek” said a soft and soft voice. I turned around and saw the other figure staring right at me. The other librarian had the most sad expression on her old face. She was the oldest woman I had ever seen and was so grotesque I felt bad at how much revulsion I felt. I immediately turned and went down the new corridor. When I was halfway down it I saw another figure and this one I recognized. It was Ava, the first girl I had ever had a crush on. She was older and gorgeous but she looked at me with pity. The pity made me so angry. I didn’t need her pity I was seeking a higher calling. “This is your last chance to turn back and choose to be better. To choose to find your own strength. To not rely on the deeds of others to determine your worth” she said softly and with so much remorse. This made me even angrier. Ava had rejected me and had hurt me. She had not shown any sadness but had shown disgust and revulsion. This dream Ava was a mirage and a dumb way of tricking me. I walked past her but then I heard her call me a poor boy. I lost it and hit her with the back of my hand. I had never hit a woman before but this was my dream so I figured, if there was ever an appropriate time. But then I watched in horror as the stone floor began to rumble. I ran and suddenly found that I wasn’t making any progress. I felt like I was running on taffy or molasses. I looked down and there tiny creatures with glowing red eyes. They were vaguely humanoid but were tiny and numerous. I then noticed that there were slightly bigger ones that … well they had large members between their legs. The whispering was like a sea of wasps and all of the snide corrosive jabs and insecurities began to surround me. Every bad things that I had ever thought about myself and other seemed to be echoing around. The sea of tiny dark creatures was pulling me into the floor.
you will never be good enough… you are such a fag…. pitiful virgin….. you will never be able to pleasure a woman…… you disgust me…….. you are too fat…. you are too ugly…… you are not good at anything…. why don’t you just kill yourself…… moron… imbecile….retard…..dumbass……
The whispers were like arrows of cold and as I struggled against the legion of tiny shadows, just as I was about to pull myself from them, I saw the masked figure again and my resolve crumbled. Then I was pulled screaming into the floor. I woke up in a cold sweat.
Part 4 done
To Be continued.